just me (phenomenamantha) wrote in burning_man,
just me

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I've been to BRC for the past three years in a row and this past year was definitely the most amazing experience of my entire life. I have decided not to go to Burning Man 2003, however, due to a limited amount of finances, vacation time, energy, and the fact that, believe it or not, this year I have more important things to do with those resources (e.g., my wedding and honeymoon... :::grinz:::). ANYWAY, the point of those long rambling entry is that every year at the end of January/beginning of February, I begin having Burning Man dreams a week, sometimes 2-3 a week. I always figured that's because that's when I've bought tickets, started talking to people about camping together, making plans, etc. But this year, even though I've known for months now that I'm not going to BRC, the dreams started up again like clockwork at the end of January, and they have been increasing in number, intensity, vividness, and length (wow, sounds like a great sex life, too! Oh yeah!) But strangely enough, in most of the dreams, I'm only there for a limited amount of time, usually right at the beginning of the week, and because of prior committments (it's always vague as to what exactly they are) I have to leave before more than a couple thousand people show up.

It's so interesting how Burning Man has been so radically life-changing for me that even though I'm not going this year, I'm still dreaming about Burning Man, except my dreams are about not getting to go, or only getting to experience it for an hour or part of a day instead of a week.

What I'm curious about most is that I am 100% totally okay with not going this year. This is because I believe that my experience last year absolutely cannot be topped, but also because I know that as important as Burning Man is, the reason I'm missing it is a thousand times more important.

So why the dreams that seem to reveal an incredibly strong subconscious yearning to be there this year?

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