September 10th, 2004


X-posted from my journal (which is entirely related to Burning Man right now anyway)

The de-Playafication of everything is going well. I wiped down all my food before bringing it into the house; it was so strange not to see that thin, fine brown layer covering everything. I also did my laundry today . . . all four loads. Brad also got me 3 cans of air from Radio Shack. I'm hoping that this will be enough to blast the dust off of all my duffle bags. One I get those cleaned up, and take some stuff to the dry cleaner, I'll be completely set. I think I'm going to keep the strange fabrics attached to my bike, though. They'll help me find good old Rusty (who almost doesn't deserve that name in her new duds) in a crowd, and hey, it would be nice to have something physical from the Playa in my every day life.

Just now I had an excellent stoned conversation with a couple friends of mine in the back yard, about Burning Man. I did the best I could to explain the atmosphere of the place, some of our wacky adventures, and the things that I'd seen. They're extremely excited about the prospect of going next year. I have at least 5 or 6 friends who are extremely excited at the prospect of going. It would be wonderful to share such an experience with these people who are so important to my life right now, and I think everyone has something to learn from being in that place. I think they didn't really get some of the concepts that I was trying to explain, but it would be silly to expect anything different. Ben, one of my listeners, hit it on the head when he said, "Wow, it sounds like something you just have to experience." That statement alone makes me think that he'll be a wonderful virgin burner. Inn retrospect, starting off as a blank slate really helped my first Burning Man experience.

Now, I almost feel as if I was talking to burners, simply by the way they were listening. It's hard to explain, but something about the awe and wonder in which they responded to my tales helped me to relive the feeling of being there. The fact that I was out in nature also made me feel more at home. While of course grass, trees, and bushes are nearly nonexistent on the Playa, something about sitting in a quiet circle and just talking under the stars made it feel like camp. They also really want to meet the people that I went with this year. Like I did (and still do), they really like the idea of being camped with or near veteran burners.

P.S. The only part that seems to be sucking about decompressing in Isla Vista is I really hate the sound of drunken screaming and rabble rousing. It's too different from my various drugged states, I think. Where's a nice, quiet pho0ka when I need one?
  • Current Music
    The Smiths - This Charming Man

Damn the Man - Save the Empire

It has been really hard for me to find the exact words I want to use to describe my first burning man experiance. This is what I ended up writting in my personal journal. Wanting to re post it here i realized it sounded a little cynical...then again I am a little cynical, but please don't get me wrong. I had an amazing experiance and even now I sit and long to be back on the playa, especially after reading other peoples experiances. I think I may have just been expecting too much.

There were moments when I was extacticly happy and I really felt like I was having the time of my life. There were also times of such crushing heartache and misery that I sat in my tent sobbing and wishing to whatever god is out there to please just let me implode in on myself.
"But how can you be sad at burning's the happiest place on earth"?
Fuck that! Black Rock is a city just like other and when thow in an already stressed relationship, harsh desert conditions, sleep dep and way too much alchol anything can happen.
You can find yourself walking through the hot coals of the burnt up man not to prove yourself or test yourself but just to see what is on the other side and how the fuck that chicken got there.
You can find yourself standing in the middle of a dust storm and relishing the absolute nothingness around you because you can't see black rock city or the 40 foot man, you can't see that absolute blanket of twinkling stars above you, you can't even see that person 5 feet in front of you and the emptiness of it all is comforting.
You can find yourself soaring down a 3 story zip line, or laughing till you fall down in a pillow fight club, scaling the walls of thunderdome or hitching a ride on a giant pirate ship to nowhere.
Mostly I found myself drunk.
and disapointed.

Talking to alot of the regular burners the fealing was definatly mutual. Something was off, something was missing and no one could actually pin point what that something really was. It was just like a wave of apathy that blew across the playa stronger than the 50 mlh dust storms.
Burning Man 2004 The Vault of Meh.

There was no spiritual awakening, no overwhelming sense of togetherness, sure I met some great people but that could happen anaywhere..I know lots of great people.
I don't feel any differnt about myself or the world for having gone, except for possibly a deeper aprication for the smaller things in life like hot running water and drainage systems, dust free clothes, bed, food, drink and those special little headbutts that my cat gives me.
Burning Man did not change my life.
It was one heck of a party though.
  • Current Music
    Jason Webley - Dance while the sky crashes down

Burning Man Changed My Wife!!!

I know a few different people over the past several years who went to BM with a spouse/life-partner, found a new soul mate on the playa, and were shortly after married to a new lover... I half jokingly warn virgins about it every year.

Has this happened to you?

If so, please share your story with us!!!
aquatoon -


We're all sad that we had to leave the included.

But the part about re-entry is this:

Make your lively happy (or what ever you felt) times a part of your life all the time, and include new people in your heart and keep the burn alive year round!

I had such an amazing, uplifting, and powerful experience. I made it what I wanted to, without pre-conceived ideas. This was my first year, and now I'm no longer a virgin. I knew what to look forward to, and how to survive in the desert, because there are so many wonderful burners on LJ that gave me the insight...but most of all it boosted my spirit to go and seek it for myself.

I think we all took something, and then left something behind in return. Now it's time to share that with others, and look forward to 2005.

Love you all!

Looking For Advice

The dust gods are strong even away from Black Rock City. I wasn't able to get my hands on an air compressor, and Operation Dust Removal Spray was met with pure, unadulterated failure. I'm assuming the product works better on keyboards and things than playa dust embedded in duffel bags, or they'd never sell! I switched to Plan B, which turned out to be hosing down all the bags and leaving them on the lawn to dry. It seems that this will work out, dust gods willing. Progress was made on the surface of my air mattress, but its still quite a mess. I'm not really sure what the best way to go about cleaning up the mattress or my sleeping bag would be, so any advice would be very much appreciated. Keep it mind that sadly, it looks like I will not have an air compressor at my disposal.

Thank you kindly, Black Rock citizens!
  • Current Music
    The Cure - Love Song

(no subject)

Life is fucked, isn't it? My initial reaction to coming home was one of utter joy and excitement. Since being back, all I want to do is quit my job and go work for the clean-up crew. Why, you ask? Well, things are all different here now and I have learned that not only do you have to toss your expectations when going to BRC, but also when you come home. I had expectations that weren't met in a very extreme angry way.

See, for many years, I have been on the outs with a group of people from my hometown and when I found them in BRC this year, I decided to let all that go and just have fun with them and try to form friendships again. Well, while that worked for me, it has made all my other close friends resent me in a huge way.

I chalk this up to those close friends just not understanding how things are in BRC and not getting what Burning Man is all about. Especially them not understanding that things that happen in BRC happen for a reason and that the ultimate goal is to being those things back to real life with you.

So, while this year was the absolute best year I have had at Burning Man in all 6 years I have been attending, it's all been overshadowed by the hatred and distrust that I am drowning in now. I can only hope that everything gets back to normal and I can really start to reflect on all the wonderful and magical things that happened this year at Burning Man.

I hope this isn't the case for the rest of you and I hope that expectations of the real world haven't ruined a lot of the magic of this year's event for you.

Now, I just need to figure out how I'm gonna keep the good feelings alive for the next 357 days.
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative


I just discovered another event that was similar enough to remind me of Burning Man. It's just a 1 day thing, but they burn this huge manequin type thing. It just happened in New Mexico. Anyone ever been and can tell me something about it??