Oh baby, it's rant city. If you got thin skin, you might want to skip this one.
This is going to be a bit rude.
It’s going to be a bit mean.
It could even hurt your feelings, if it applies to you.
I’ve got to put it out there though, and I’m not going to apologize.
To all the goddamn rejects who brought the new style Schwinn Stingray’s to the playa, and to all those fools on the Orange County Chopper issued bicycles, and especially to that one fool I saw riding by on a Segway.
Fuck You. Suck a big rubbery one all the way home.
Now, for all the people who were riding around custom cruisers, chopped out, and refitted, and spray painted to look like Easy Rider meets mad max pedal power, YOU rule everything. You really went out and made something a bit rugged, a bit special, and just a bit of your heart and soul, and then showed it off to everyone you could.
And to the person with the fake Segway, the little two stroke stand up scooter thing with an extra wheel for balance, pure genius.
Remember kids, build it, don’t buy it.
And no, I’m not totally against consumerism. Burning Man, in reality, promotes a whole lot of consumption and buying, and I’m sure everyone in Reno loves us for it. We make the year, in reality, with our dollars flooding that town every August. I would just rather see a whole ton of actual art bikes instead of the mass produced things. It just takes a few hours of time, a couple cans of whatever color your desire spray paint, and less money then you think to turn a 15-20 dollar garage sale bike into that totally hawt chopper thing you just saw ride by.
And as for that Segway, sweet jesus, I don’t know what else to say. Next yer gonna talk about how yer bringing an Oculas
out to the playa so you don’t have to hear the doof doof music all night.