evilgerbil (evilgerbil) wrote in burning_man,

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As this was my first burn, I was unaware of the Burning Man depression. I miss my tribe. I miss morning meals and falling asleep in the dome in piles of bodies, huddling together for warmth and the sheer joy of human contact. I miss my bicycle (Los Angeles is huge and cannot be navigated successfully on a bike). I got home last night and everything was so startling: so big, so clean, so unncessary. There is so much negativity out here, and meanwhile I have been transformed. On the way home, I wanted to stop at every broken down car and ask if the occupants needed help. On my trip back, I had to remind myself that I couldn't just pee on a dusty patch of land, swim naked in Mono Lake, or change my playa-covered clothes in the parking lot of a diner in Bishop. I smiled in glee at what I thought was an art car on the 170 freeway, before I realized it was just a pizza delivery car with a large sign on the roof.

I am going through bad culture shock on a world I have belonged to all my life. I guess I never realized how lonely it was out here, how bland and colorless by comparison. Hugs and kisses to anyone going through the same thing, or to those that have never been to Burning Man but have suspected that the default world isn't the only answer.
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