Sparkle (hjem) wrote in burning_man,

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Boundaries at the Burn

(x-posted to my journal)

My intention for this year's Burn was to push some boundaries. I did pretty well in terms of that, I think. I did some smooching I wouldn't have normally done, I rode in Critical Tits, I let some people take photos of me. I did plaster casting of some body parts I wouldn't normally have on display for just everyone, then walked home topless. Sometimes you have to push a little further than you really want the boundary so it will relax back and still be further than when you started. At least, that's the theory I was operating under.

Sometimes, though, you push too far, too fast. As much as you try to control your uncomfortable-ness, as much as you try to stay grounded and clear headed, things go wrong.

Which is how I ended up completely passing out... the medical tent watching my friend, the drummer, have minor surgery on his hand.

I was supposed to be there for moral support, I mean, he's a drummer and he had something wrong with his hand!

I have a phobia around skin being punctured. I was really impressed I could watch one of the two injections he was given to numb the area. I looked away for the incision.

Normally, I love to watch surgery on TV. I've never had a problem watching all the digging and sopping up of blood and poking and moving around of muscle, etc. In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is. Real life digging on someone I know, not so easy to watch.

I was sitting on the end of the cot with his legs over mine. I started to get dizzy...a feeling I associate with not having eaten enough. Usually I would put my head between my knees and it would pass. This time, there were legs in the way, and a doctor telling me to lean against the wall instead.

"I feel like I'm going to pass out," I said, even as I did what he told me.

"Yeah, you are," he replied in a matter of fact tone, not worried and not trying to be comforting either, which was really the most comforting way for me to hear it.

Then I tried to say, "I don't want to steal your thunder," to Drummer. I mean, after all, we were supposed to be there for his hand and here I was passing out!

I sort of realized I was dreaming and that wasn't right. I forced myself to wake up and saw a vast sea of pink before my eyes, with a small area of fake wood paneling above that. (At least I could tell up from down.) I was not at all concerned for my safety, but I had no idea where I was.

I remembered I was at Burning Man, though I'm not sure I could have told you the name of the event or explained any of it, and suddenly the pink taffeta filling my vision didn't bother me as much. But the wood panels still had me really confused.

I started moving around, since I'd managed to slump over at a really uncomfortable angle and was feeling a little confined by the wall behind me and the pink thing in front of me. Then I heard my Drummer's voice and realized I was in the medical area!

I started talking about how I didn't want an IV. "No needles. I don't want any needles." I think I figured that if I could sit up and talk I could convince them I didn't need a drip. I'm pretty sure it was just the fact that I hadn't passed out from dehydration which saved me from that.

The doctor had to stop his surgery and hold me upright as I walked to the cot in the next room to hang out and recover some more. He got me with one hand around the bicep. I know I don't weigh much, but I was still impressed he could support me with just that one hand!

Talking later with Drummer I found out that as I slumped over he was trying to catch my head in his left hand as the doctor was digging in his right hand and he was being told to scoot over to try to make some room for me to fall! *blush* I DO try not to be a bother!

We went over to the Artery, after we were both released, with a cup of Gatorade in hand. There I was well taken care of with hand delivered pancakes from the pancake camp next door (S cut in line using my medical emergency as an excuse and came back holding syrup soaked cakes in her hands since we had no plates!), an unclaimed warm chi, and some shade!

As we started walking back, Drummer saw some guy he'd met once driving an art car and got me a ride back to my camp since I was still having trouble walking. I would have felt more special and princess like if I'd been less out of it, but a ride in a land cruiser is pretty cool either way!

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